Monday, February 7, 2011

"Mom"-day

Monday, February 7, 2011
I took this picture because I think it looks like she's straight out of "Despicable Me".

I had an epiphany this weekend, in the divine revelation- sent straight to my heart kind of way. The month of January was spent in a turmoil of confused thoughts, conflicting desires and all around lack of proper focus. Torn between being a mother and all the other choices women have out in the world of today, I wondered how to resolve my inner struggles. Wheels spinning but going nowhere fast. I did the only thing I know how to do- I dropped to my knees.
Where is my focus meant to be? How do I resolve all these heart-strings being pulled in a million different directions? How do I fulfill all the parts of me, when they seem to be so at odds with each other?
In the quiet moments of an early Saturday morning the answer distilled upon me. In a peaceful wave of love, my Father in Heaven showed me that I don't have to choose. It is possible to be a mother and enjoy other things too. If I will keep my focus on the most important part of my life {motherhood}, all the other, little parts will find their place- because they DO have a place- and that is the biggest lesson in all of this for me.
My religion teaches that motherhood is the noblest of callings- and I firmly believe that. Motherhood is an incubator that refines woman and distills out of her the very best she has to offer. But, motherhood is hard. Hard in a way that isn't always fun, or exciting, or satisfying from moment to moment. Motherhood needs an escape valve, a way to release the pressure and blow off some steam before the head of the mother explodes! ;)
The answer for me (and this really is all about me after all) is to not let the escape valve become too large. If all the pressure is off- there is no change, no growth, no learning. I am right in the middle of the all consuming young-children stage of motherhood. And while I have no delusions that things will get "easier" as they get older- I do know that things will change. Right now, time is of the essence- and I need to wisely manage mine so that I am able to accomplish all the necessary elements of life. Living my religion, teaching my children, keeping a mildly clean home (I use the word "clean" loosely) need to be the focus of my life right now. And even with those things properly in place, there will still be room for the other things I enjoy- blogging, crafting and everything else I like to do. It was a simple realization, but one that completely changed me, brought things into focus, and is allowing me to move on, and forward in a way I haven't been able to for a long time.
How grateful I am for a loving Father in Heaven- who is aware of me and my poor muddled brain- and is willing to bring clarity and understanding just when I needed it most.

Now, to go get focused. ;)
XOXO,
Amy

2 comments:

Amy C said...

I love your mom-day posts. I've only been reading your blog for a couple of weeks, but I look forward to these posts. I feel like I can relate to them so much. Thank you for sharing them. :)

Samantha said...

Another great mom post, Amy! I completely lost it last night when my daughter - at 7:30 pm - remembered she had a project due today. My "steam valve" blew its top. Probably because it was an emotional draining weekend for other reasons and I hadn't taken anytime to step away for a little bit. Thanks for sharing!

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